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First blog post (why i decided to start blogging?)

This is the post excerpt.

hi everyone, my name is soufiane,i am 19 years old, and i am a 1st year med student (specifically dental surgery) i live and study in ukrain -dnepr, but originally i am a moroccan boy, from the red city, marrakesh,and i have a kind of messed up life.. well lets say fucked up somehow..i aint lonely, i have a lot of friends, a looooot of them, some of them are very good people, i also have a wonderful girlfriend, with whom i have been dating for more than 5 months, and every is awesome and ok between us, i still wonder why my head is so messed up, i really can not understand, sometimes i just sit in the darkness, staring at the dark horizon which does not exist really, but it exists in my world,for me, i do not really know why that dark horizon exists because my late night temper creates it, or just simply because the lights are off..i really cant tell. but sitting there in my little imaginary,dark,cold,world, listening to my inner thoughts fighting each other, really sometimes drives me to the edge, so i just decided that since i do not do nothing really all the time,well of course besides studying some really really reaaaaaaally weird shit about our body…i will start sharing some of the random shit that goes through my mind every now and then..because i know that i am not the only person in the world that fight wars, in their inner worlds, without any one knowing anything about that, and it kind of hurt to take that burden all alone, so if you are reading this and you felt that this is kind of familiar,stick around, you might like what i will be posting almost at a daily basis, of course i am not only going to write about bad depressing,dark stuff, i will be writing about various stuff every now and then,activities, stories, studies, well practically anything might be interesting)) and one more thing, now that you read this, do not take the wrong idea that i am a fucked up person, emotionally and mentally, hahaha, yeah i might be sometimes, but 65% of the time i am a happy cheerful person. see yall soon)) peace.becfcba4-01b2-4f6c-9ef2-ec90825b7626

Does it matter?! 

Does it matter really if you look back or nah?! The thing is, if your brain is urging to look, your soul is screaming for you to look, you heart is begging you to fucking look, look!! But guess what!! Yep, thats right, no one is fucking there! And just then you realize, lets say “comprehend” that you left them all in there, where you used to be, where you thought you belonged… where you sought freedom. so yeah, there is now only one way, and its forward!! LOOK 

Losing yourself in the name of love..

img_4178You was a broken person, emotionally, mentally and physically hurt,damaged,and devastated, every single day was like hell for you, you was wishing for all of it to end, to stop, the pain, the suffering, the endless thinking about your black futur, that was destroying that heart of yours, and with every single day, it was eating a little part of your soul, you just wanted to finish it all, but you didn’t have enough courage to do so, because even though all of what you have been through, you still think there might be some kind of hope, and maybe some day something miraculous might happen and drag you out from that dark, lonely hole you were hiding in your entire life, and just when you lost all hope and faith,maybe even the desire to go out, you allready decided that you actually want to stay a lonely shit, there comes this little, pretty, shiny angel, with her holly smile and those magical powers of hers to take you out of your little closed world, and you just reach out for her little tiny soft hands, and just FLY AWAY from every single thing that was holding you down there. You know why?! Because it started beating again, your soul started to shine all over again, your smile came back, you can laugh as hard as you can,again, you don’t feel lonely anymore, because she is here, she will allways back you up when falling, and drag you out when going back to your hole,she will allways be here, you put your faith in a totally unkown person, who’s gonna become with time an unseparatble part of your soul, hers, and yours finally emerge, to make somethings not even words can describe!! You might do anything to keep that person close,you will totally change behaviour, you will become a whole new person,because  you just never want to lose them, never want to hurt them, even though you will, maybe not in purpose, but sooner or later you will, but it doesn’t matter really, cuz between you, there is something so outstanding, so magnificent, so extraordinary, something far far away from being broken! That what we call love!!

LOVE! is the cure)) ❤️

 

Late night thought..

img_4154No, its not that i can not sleep because i’m single and everyone around me going on dates today evening , or because i am sad because i will not be able to have sex like everyone will,or because everyone was kissing in front of me in the streets yesterday all the way from school to where i live, naaaaah, i am going out on a date and i am going to have sex like everyone,dont ya’ll worry about that! But Dhell man, i really just cant get a little bit of rest, for some reason, i just cant stop thinking about things, like random various weird stuff which i dont even know why i think about, is it only me or anyone else cant put their heads on a pillow and just like.. “whouuchhhh” boom they’re snoring already?! am i the only one who starts thinkings about why is the moon white, or why the week has 7 days and not 8, and if it had 8 somehow, what would be the eighth day called?! how many fish did i ate since the day i was born till this very exact second?! why did i come to existence?? What came to existence first, the chicken or the egg?! Will i live till 50? What kind of person i will become, is the world gonna change me to become a monster like it does to everyone? Will i become someone who can make people notice him,or will i die alone in the middle of a big ass empty castle smoking some Marlboros and sipping some jack,and not even my kids going to miss me?! like so many thoughts, so many memories, so many questions, so many scenarios, totally useles shit most of the time, but sometimes somethings very extraordinay can cross my mind when i close my eyes trying to reach out for the sandman’s sweet sweet hands.. but why?! Is it normal?! Is it not?! I really don’t know! I just watched this movie, called “split” and if you already watched that, than maaaaan you will fucking relate to the fact of what a magnificent movie it was, personally one of the best i have ever seen; the whole movie was awesome, two cant disagree on the fantastic change of characters done by the magnificent “James Mcavoy” who totally killed the role, but there was this one particular sentence,this specefic one that couldn’t go out off my mind that easily, i still think about its philosophical meaning, i felt like the director touched me right in the heart of my feels with it!! “the broken are the most evolved”. if you really think about it, like really deeply,and analyze it and see it from a lot more than just one perspective, adding the fact that you was once, maybe still a broken person, you probably wont get any sleep too.. good night!

I AM HUMAN

Anime does a lot of things. It shows us amazing places and takes us on wild adventures. It can make us laugh or cry or wince or groan. It can make our eyes widen in shock and it can bore us to tears. However, what it does every now and then is really make us […]

via Friday’s Feature – I Am Human — 100WordAnime

i have allways been a fan  of japan and japanese culture;anime is one of that, i just read this article of this girl about some philosophical meanings in some famous japanese anime, i myself watched most of them,and i cant describe how awesome they were,all of them, nice article, and a very impressive effort put in the work!! keep up))

Daily Prompt: Seriousness

via Daily Prompt: Seriousness

Seriousness, i will write a short one about this, i just felt some curiosity, and wanted to participate in today’s challenge about this word, well for me, it’s a state of mind that a particular person can chose to get into to accomplish a certain goal, of course its not valid for use in every situation, its usable under some specefic circomstances and in certain situations which in, you should be serious (in an interview for example, communicating with  your lame, asshole boss, some times in conversations with parents, even your girlfriend or friends) so basically you just chose to be serious sometimes, concidering some certain circumstances.. well of course that does not really apply on all people, because there are some very specefic kind of human beings, by their very nature, including myself, that can not be serious under no matter what,like at all, no matter what the situation is,like literally they can be torured by some mean,lame,cruel mafia boss in the middle if a desert in the middle of nowhere, they would just laugh at him in the face, spit at him and say “is that it?!”not because they want to die, no no no, they just cant get in that state of mind “seriousness” even under trumendous pain. Well thats a way to die, but they dont realise it, they just dont understand it, what seriousness is, and they can never be serious.. thats what i think really.And i myself,one of them, for me being serious is boring really, like “boooo” wdh man, take it easy, nothing is worth it…well at least this is my opinion, and this is what i think about this word.. oh and “why so serious?!” (With a biiiig fucking creepy smile)